if i told you this was killing me, would you stop?
finally. fresh air.
garbed myself in my best black and minimal green accessories, went out.
coulda ask a friend along but i wanted to spend time on myself. to feel good about myself. and it was worthwhile.
see, at the end of the day, you just need yourself to feel awesome and headstrong.
even closed an eye to the
mat rapes's teasings. whatever,
dolmats.
you know what else would make me really really smile?
This.
come away with me..
9:45 PM
foolish games
had to break away from the "poof" status.
just have to write something in here. somehow the hiatus looks so forlorn.
things are still a mess. im suffocating at home. im wishing every day someone would just carry me away to somewhere far. anyone. I NEED FRESH AIR.
jobs dont come immediately like that after you sent resumes. somehow parents just dont get it.
i just i wish im fucking special.question of day.
Why do i ever exist anyway?
there are people around me but i still feel so alone. sighs.
even things are so tensed at home.
i need to runaway fast.
p.s.: you caught me at a wrong day, wrong post. come again another day. i might be able to smile then.
come away with me..
11:32 AM
HIATUS.
and until all is cleared and done with, i shall keep silent.
there has been this huge blob of mess in my head.
until that is cleansed and taken care of, i will hold my tongue and try not to screw up matters more.
sometimes being frank doesnt solve a problem.
all in all, i'll leave this to the hands of God who knows me and us better than we really do.
Adieu.
come away with me..
2:30 PM
push the button.
very nice but tragic song. no comment.
Since the day you and I snuck away to be alone
I knew from that night somethin special went on
It musta been the first kiss
You told me that nobody else in the world made you feel this
I felt the same way too but nothing stays the same
I'm sorry for the tears, I'm sorry for the pain
You were the one that always made things right
I promise you this though, you got a friend for life
Maybe one day we can try it again
And maybe things can be a lil different
So let's just kiss and say good-bye
Cuz I really can't stand the pain of seeing you cry
(Chorus)
I've given everything ,
I loved you endlessly,
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me..
NB Ridaz - Notice Me feat. Angelina Lyrics
my face has these mysterious red patches and there are some peeling going on too.
scary.i have not been suntanning. neither have i been scratched by any creatures. then where are they from? hm.
will not see a certain someone for two weeks :~(
in the meantime, how do you define HOT in a person?
hmm..
is it wrong to miss someone you should not be missing?
hmmm.
p.s: eliz, when are we gonna hit the beach? MISS YOU *hugs*
come away with me..
8:51 PM
spinning.
i've just read a tear-jerking post by a dear friend.
my heart goes all out for her.
its extremely tough, because you got to be her to feel how it feels like.
to be teared away from someone you love so, so dearly, without any warning.
you wake up every morning feeling hollow. feeling numb. feeling nothing.
you want to smile, you want to make others happy by trying to be happy.
but oh my god, whats going on inside of you... only the Almighty knows.
and as i typed this, my own heart is breaking.
i can never imagine how i would be like in her shoes right now.
because what im facing now is already so tragic and draining every inch of my energy out.
but it will never be a mile near compared to hers.
why do love have to hurt so much?
why cant love come freely as it goes?
why must we suffer so much for love?
why cant we know who we are supposed to love and be with, eternally, by looking at some magic mirror or something?
goodbye.
come away with me..
4:26 PM
3am.
i was disappointed from the movie, Exorcism of Emily Rose.
thought the court scenes brought the horror pace down entirely.
little did i know the movie proved me wrong later on. damn wrong.
exactly 2:45am, i woke up, cold sweat, shivering. looked at the clock. okay, not 3am yet. started msg-ing to whoever i know.
out of all, only one replied. not surprising because of the unholy time.
and to this saviour, i say my thanks and my lifetime gratitude because you dont know how your voice meant to me. no matter how you made me a laughingstock by telling your friends what i was scared of. (okay fine that was a little offending LOL but that was so you)
so yeah.
thank you, you.
how do you like my gold kitty site? Eva's HOT.
have a good weekend all!
p.s. : Happy 21st birthday to zedd! :)
p.p.s : to those who have caught the movie, you know what i mean by the 3am hour. *shivers*
come away with me..
3:19 PM
feverish.
just got back from jln2 with sue.
feeling very feverish from this afternoon. heating up till now. gonna take another pill soon. driving on the road has so many freaky tests.LOL. thank god nothing serious happened. Hi sue, i love you so much *hugs* we should go get lost driving in circles again, sweetie ;)
as promised, the pictures. (names from left to right)
at my house, faizal bom bom, his gf zarina, ms pretty swana, her bf fad kiut miut, zedd and rahmat.
at my house2, eddy vlad and the police boys: sameer, rosz, fauzi.
at my house3, myself, liza, marlisa and cik deana.
at my house4, my mother, wahyu, his gf natasha, radiah and her bf.
courtesy of cik deana's camera, the whole geng at liza's house :)
the boys.
impromptu shot of the girls.
me and miss swana in the chartered bus ;)
lounging at wahyu's house.
hungry wolves. heh.
for more pictures, please visit our lovely ms deana's photos' site at
asmaradiana.com
me and sue.
giggle giggle.
okay i cant take this anymore, im logging off.
head's spinning too much.
i am in desperate need of fresh, sea air.
no more air gas for me.
swoooosh.
come away with me..
9:04 PM
at the crossroads.
I WILL UPDATE!
do not despair!
will upload more new pics soon, especially the ones on last saturday, jalan raya with the ex nyp geng(credits to the lovely cik deana).
one of fire: passionate, dedicated, wild.
the other of water: calm, peaceful, heartfelt.
to them, with all my love right here in my heart, i am worthy of none of you but myself. because your love is worthy for someone not as corrupted and lost as me. so i shall live, like a snow queen, selfish, not loving, not caring, not desiring.
yeah right.this has been stuck in my head and mp3.
Sorry I can’t always find the words to say
Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love
And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me....
sue's driving over! ciao chendol!
come away with me..
12:46 PM
glittered songket.
very super quick update!
raya pics of the three consecutive days are up! click below pic to view 'em!
below are previews of pics!
enjoy!
for those who wanna come, gimme a call first please!
(p.s: kinah babe, had a great time at your house with the rest just now. although viknash's flirtings.. SHEESH. only those who were there to witness knew how embarassingly OTT it was. *slaps forehead* makes me seriously wonder when the hell is that fellow will ever give up! LOL.)
*scoots off*
//please click on above picture to view more\
HIGHLIGHTS
come away with me..
8:58 PM
